Waste
by Japanimerocker
Summary: Well another angsty trilogy of songfics all from Staind, PG-13 for suicide and multiple cussing
1. Waste

A/N: Ahh… another songfic, another disclaimer. I do not own anything, except this idea. There. Happy?  
  
Waste  
  
Earlier today I was really happy. I could have eaten a gallon of ice cream easily. I could have skipped home from school, and gotten weird looks. But not now. When I got home, the phone rang.  
  
"Hello? Is Yamato there?"  
  
"Yes, this is he what can I do for you?"  
  
The woman's voice quivered.  
  
"You were a friend of my son Taichi right?"  
  
"Yeah, he's my best friend."  
  
I shifted my weight uneasily from foot to foot, afraid of what is going to happen  
  
"Um, Yamato? He died this afternoon."  
  
Instantly I paled and swallowed hard. She continued.  
  
"I found him on his bed when I came home from some errands. There was a razor in his hand and his wrist was bloody."  
  
I nearly dropped the phone I was so shocked. He was such a happy guy. A little sad at times, but nothing a milkshake couldn't cure. I stuttered.  
  
"Mrs. Yagami? I have to go, good-bye." Time seemed to slow. I sank down onto the floor, tears streaming down my face. I dried my face, and slipped my shoes on and ran out. I went to the small portable that my band used for rehearsal. I pulled out my favorite CD, Break the Cycle, and put it in the player. I just wanted to blast the music and be alone.  
  
Your mother came up to me  
  
She wanted answers only she should know  
  
Only she should know  
  
It wasn't easy to deal with the tears that rolled down her face  
  
I had no answers 'cause I didn't even know you  
  
But these words, they can't replace  
  
The life you  
  
The life you waste  
  
How could you paint this picture?  
  
Was life as bad as it should seem?  
  
That there were no more options for you?  
  
I can't explain how I feel  
  
I've been there many times before  
  
I've tasted the cold steel of my life  
  
Crashing down upon me  
  
But these words, they can't replace  
  
The life you  
  
The life you waste  
  
Did Daddy not love you?  
  
Or did he love you just too much?  
  
Did he control you?  
  
Did he live through you at your own cost?  
  
Did he leave no questions for you to answer on your own?  
  
Well f**k them  
  
And f**k her  
  
And f**k him  
  
And f**k you  
  
For not having the strength in your heart  
  
To pull through  
  
I've had doubts  
  
I have failed  
  
I'm f**ked up  
  
I have plans  
  
Doesn't mean I should take  
  
My life with my own hands  
  
But these words, they can't replace  
  
The life you  
  
The life you waste  
  
But these words, they can't replace  
  
The life you  
  
The life you waste.  
  
I find a rusty old razor in the back and picked it up. As it nears my flesh, I think, 'I'm coming Taichi, I'm coming'  
  
A/N: Well, that was depressing. *shrugs* oh well. As if Yamato has enough angst. R&R! 


	2. Suffer

A/N: I own nothing, and I don't think I ever will. u.u  
  
Suffer  
  
About thirty gathered by them. Two coffins. One was white; the other black. In the caskets were Taichi Yagami and Yamato Ishida. Both were fourteen when they died, both from the cold steel of a razor. The tops of the coffins were open, revealing the two faces. Luckily, both didn't show the large scars on their wrists. Hikari, Taichi's younger sister, his nee- chan, was staring at the two inanimate teens, tears in her brown eyes.  
  
Suffer...  
  
Suffer...  
  
Suffer...  
  
The more you see the more you do  
  
The television's feeding you  
  
With what you want to hear  
  
Anger and fear  
  
Because you suffer...  
  
Sora Takanouchi and Koushiro Izumi stood by her. Sora was Taichi's girlfriend; Koushiro was very close friends with Taichi and Yamato. It was a wonder he too didn't turn to self-mutilation like his friends. Taichi took his life because he couldn't deal with all his issues in his life, and his parents started arguing constantly. They two were standing by Taichi, quiet. Yamato 'kicked the bucket' from grief for Taichi, and probably from his parents divorce about seven years ago. He had shut out the world since then. Yamato's parents were also standing by the departed teen.  
  
The hate you feel won't go away  
  
You're all programmed to feel this way  
  
To live another day within a world  
  
That loves to suffer  
  
And then I come to find  
  
Everything's okay  
  
Seen this all before  
  
But that was yesterday  
  
Try to walk right through  
  
The messes that I've made  
  
Just let me enjoy  
  
The life here that I've made  
  
Just then it had started to rain. The priest asked if anyone had anything else to say before they lowered the caskets. Daisuke, one of the newer kids, didn't say anything. He just walked up to Taichi and pulled off his goggles Taichi had given to him and placed them on the coffin. Takeru, Daisuke's rival, and Yamato's younger brother, walked up to Yamato like Daisuke had did. He took off his old, crumpled, white Gilligan hat and rested it on Yamato's coffin. At this point, Mimi Tachikawa, Koushiro's girlfriend, started to cry and wail uncontrollably. Koushiro put his arms around Mimi and comforted her, silent tears falling from his own eyes.  
  
Tried to give this all to you  
  
Can't take any more to do with this  
  
It hurts inside  
  
I know I hide  
  
'Cause I suffer  
  
Tried to keep it all inside  
  
Didn't leave me too much pride  
  
Forced it all down inside  
  
Forced myself  
  
To make me suffer  
  
And then I come to find  
  
Everything's okay  
  
Seen this all before  
  
But that was yesterday  
  
Try to make it through  
  
These messes that I've made  
  
So I can enjoy  
  
The life here that I've made  
  
Upon seeing the two kids place their treasured items on each coffin, the priest said a prayer as the two teens were lowered into the earth. This made Mimi cry even more. Jyou Kido looked down at the two holes now being filled, and then up at the sky, that was bleeding water. He took off his glasses and cleaned them my rubbing them against his black sport coat. Everyone left the graveyard incars and headed back to the apartment complex that the Yagamis' lived in. There was food and soda and everyone talked quietly about the two boys.  
  
And then I come to find...  
  
And then I come to find  
  
Everything's okay  
  
Seen this all before  
  
But that was yesterday  
  
Try to walk right through  
  
These messes that I've made  
  
Just try to enjoy  
  
This life here that I've made  
  
Hikari spoke for the first time today, "I can't believe they're really gone."  
  
A/N: Very depressing, I know, but I think it's my best work. ^_^ R&R. 


	3. It's been awhile

A/N: Do I really need a disclaimer after all this? Its not like I own anything.  
  
It's Been Awhile  
  
The twelve-year-old awoke to the sound of an alarm. She rolled off her bed and fell a few feet off her bunk bed on to the hardwood floor with a loud thunk. After a long groan, the girl picked herself up and got dressed in all black.  
  
It's been awhile since I could, hold my head up high  
  
It's been awhile since I first saw you  
  
It's been awhile since I could stand on my own two feet again  
  
And it's been awhile since I could call you  
  
Everything I can't remember  
  
This f**ked up as it all may seem  
  
Consequences that are rendered  
  
I've stretched myself beyond my means  
  
The girl left her apartment and walked down the street to a flower shop where her friend Sora worked. Without saying anything, Sora gave her a single flower and the two left the store, both clad in black. The girls walked a few blocks to an open field with trees and many stones.  
  
It's been awhile since I could say, that I wasn't addicted and  
  
It's been awhile, since I could say I love myself as well and  
  
It's been awhile, since I've gone and f**ked things up, just like I always do  
  
And it's been awhile, but all that s**t seems to disappear when I'm with you  
  
Everything I can't remember  
  
This f**ked as it all may seem  
  
Consequences that I've rendered  
  
I've gone to f**k things up again, yeah  
  
At the graveyard, the two girls were met with eight other kids, minus the two in the earth. Everyone placed things like flowers and cards they had given. But Koushiro placed two different items on the headstones. Both were small gold hexagonal trinkets. One had an orange sun on it, the other a blue ying-yang on it. On the headstones it read, Taichi "Tai" Yagami November 23rd 1986-May 5th 2001 "Goggle Boy" Yamato "Matt" Ishida February 2nd 1987-May 5th 2001 "The Cold One"  
  
Why must I feel this way?  
  
Just make this go away  
  
Just one more peaceful day  
  
It's been awhile, since I could, look at myself straight  
  
And it's been awhile since I could, since I said I'm sorry  
  
And it's been awhile, since I've seen the way, the candles light your face  
  
And it's been awhile, but I can still remember the way you taste.  
  
And everything I can't remember  
  
This f**ked up as it all may seem to be, I know this pain  
  
Cannot blame this on my father  
  
He did the best he could for me  
  
It's been awhile, since I could hold my head up high  
  
And It's been awhile since I've said I'm sorry  
  
Just then, it started to rain, like that day one year ago, it started to rain. The eight kids left the cemetery, leaving the fallen boys to rest once more.  
  
A/N: R&R 


End file.
